Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.
Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I’ve been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.
Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.
I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.
I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.
Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.
I would immediately try to weaponize it. Spend a weekend making putin telepathically shit his brains out without pause should probably be enough to make him die from the sheer loss of matter and nutrients.
Why would anyone choose anything but the magenta one?
If blue is not already the case (I would question how they became your crush) that seems like a good option. Otherwise pink is the only useful one.
Because you have the soul of a puppy and you can’t imagine harming another?
Screw that! I wanna make boom boom in others pants!
Who tf is choosing anything but pink?!?
I mean the weed gummy isn’t that bad
But of the rest, pink is the only one that does anything fun. And it could technically be useful. If you need to distract someone during a heist, for an example.
Also you’d be immune to constipation.
Do they have to have poop in them or does it spawn some inside them? That’s necessary information.
Spawns inside of them. Makes them shit even more and harder tbh
Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.
The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.
Sorry, it’s kinda like a presidential pardon.
shit
Make me!
Jeez. All you mean people.
I’d take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
That’s the best answer.
spoiler
I feel you’ve got a good personal reason behind it that most don’t. I haven’t seen anything from you about your health recently, so I hope you’re doing great, and that the move to the UK goes swell!
spoiler
Very slow improvements on the health front and I hope so too, thank you!
Sidebar:
I can only assume Ms. Squid has finished your sweater…
What’s the status on my Penguin sweater?
No rush, of course 😅
She has not! I was hoping it would be my Christmas present.
… I mean it still might be your Christmas present, just this year
She’s not that slow. She just switches between projects.
Just came here to say that this thread is lovely and I totally understand having a bunch of projects going at the same time. I hope ms Squid finds the time, that sweater sounds cute.
Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world’s worst people shit themselves on live TV…
I’m just saying, no one’s talking about how you could help people with this too.
I don’t know anyone that needs help popping. I know many people who I’d like to make shit themselves.
But what are the rules? Is it like death note where you need their name and be thinking of their face? Or is it “Hey, that 3rd grade math teacher who gave me a hard time. What’s her name? Forgot how she looks, too… she shits herself now!” Type of thing.
Just have to test it out and figure out how it works I suppose.
There’s not a few people you’d want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?
Do I want to commit murder? No.
I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.
Well, I just made up my mind.
I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it’s you.
I was just assuming it was just Power Word: Shit and would effect anyone up to however many hit dice.
Force people to poop on command - I’d have xin jinping on speed dial
I would give this pill to a million Chinese and Russian dissidents.
Xi and Putin would just be constantly shitting. There would be no moment in any day for as long as they lived that they weren’t shitting.
Err, dissidents are the folks resisting the regime…
Each billionaire poops every 30 minutes. No rest for the wicked. Can be cured by donating the fortune to some common causes.
Unfortunately Elon musk can still shit post to TWITTER from the shitter.
Pink, you can control any situation with that.
You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say “Poop”, they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them… Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it’s you doing this.
You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who’s gonna believe him?
He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting “poop!” with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. “I’ll cut your guts out!” he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.
You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.
Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered…
I would take the pink one, then find my least favourite people and make the infinite poop copypasta into reality…
I’d just tweet “poop” at Muskrat and Donald 24/7
You can do that rn if you wanted to.
I don’t want to create a Twitter account 😔
Fair enough.
