You don’t need to pop the hood to jump the battery, there’s a manual latch on the front that works if it’s dead. This isn’t news it’s just clickbait Tesla hate.
The article itself says the owner tried to jump it several times before having to get it towed… like he would have for every other car brand.
It’s a manual override to open the hood for when the battery is out. The whole point of the article/thread is that people think there isn’t one when there clearly is.
You don’t need a key because you can replace the battery without one even if the car is dead.