The rise of self-hosted option comes from the distrust of the Big Tech and the desire to avoid a single point of failure.
Sure, commercial solutions are better hardened, but they are also more likely to be attacked in the first place. And nothing is there to protect you from the prying eyes of those who host it for you, which is a valid threat as well.
Still, one thing better, privacy-wise, than having your own server is to not rely on any servers to begin with.
I know how it works, my problem is that server software is meant to run constantly in the background, and needs to be managed in a specific way, and I specifically don’t want this to happen.
I know I can put self-hosted server behind a VPN, but it’s an entirely different use case.