Pears make my fillings hurt, for some reason, so I avoid them.

Hey, at least trump hasn’t appointed the head ufologist the secretary of defense yet. He hasn’t, has he? I’ve lost track.

You would need to ask President Obama what he ment.

First he accused Obama of leaking classified information with his recent comment on a pod cast. Obama said he never saw any evidence of ETs while president, but statistically they probably exist. I sort of remember previous presidents saying they would release UFO info, and then there being a big let down when that info was we have no evidence of extraterrestrial visits.

Anime eyes

Can’t find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.

Spartans checking in

I am sorry the lady is missing, but I really don’t need to hear about it twice a day.

First they say ‘that is not our food’.
Then the say ‘all you do is eat our food’.
Make up your minds.

Looks like any cheddar.. Is the cheddar where you are white?

Eating that much cheese with give you a major dairy air.

Misleading. People get rabies from dog bites and die when they are not treated. Cows kill a lot more people directly then dogs.

I would like a long skirt that conceals nothing but still gives me the opportunity to fall flat on my face with every step.

Upvote for White Heat

Walks into living room naked, members of the ladies bridge club look up in dismay.

Pull a Forest Gump and run across the US a few times. The violence coupled with lack of health care will surely lead to weight management.

People have the weirdest obsessions. Why would she want to wash the windows while getting railed?

Now Jack in the Box is a whole other story. I have definitely gotten sick from a JitB taco.

Buy a good pizza cutter and sharpen like a knife?

These ‘factory look’ restaurants ,with high ceilings with all the pipes and ducts exposed, can fuck right off. Then they pump in music so everyone has to shout, adding to the ‘ambiance’. That shit is the laugh track of social interaction.