Assuming they don’t want to end up like Aaron Swartz… I’m guessing they are deleted. Unfortunately it’s just too expensive to try to fight DMCA notices. Kim Dotcom has been trying that for a full decade now - his legal costs have surely stretched into tens of millions of dollars and he’s lost pretty much every step of the way. All the money he’s burned on this has delayed a lengthy prison sentence, he’s unlikely to win and would have got a lighter sentence with an early guilty plea.
As to the tooling… AFAIK it’s not possible to delete some things in Lemmy. I expect they’ve fixed that now. At least for things that are likely to be on the receiving end of a DMCA notice.
If you have friends in another country, it might cost a quarter every time you send a message.
In regions of the world (e.g. Europe, and a lot of Asia) where some countries are the size of a large city (or perhaps the entire country is one city), that’s a problem. You’d be sending international texts all day every day.