Exactly the same here! I lurked on Reddit for yeeears (like, the pre Pao days). I made one post in a very specialized sub, and three general comments elsewhere. The post went well, I got a quick answer but it really could have been an e-mail or forum post. The general comments were absolute DUMPSTER FIRES, and so I never did engage or contribute.
Lemmy has been so different, the community is smaller, but every post interaction I’ve had it feels like the folks I am engaging with read what I wrote and are making a good faith effort.
After the last ten years of social media, it’s a little… weird. But good weird. “Oh, this is what it’s supposed to be like.”
We have the momentum now, and that makes a world of difference. Lemmy isn’t beholden to any “engagement” metrics, so all the dark patterns that infect other social media have no incentive here. The internet wasn’t always toxic (as a general statement). People engage more in conflict than in an interaction with no winners and losers, we’re just hardwired that way. The “Web 2.0” crowd hijacked that to keep us in front of more ads for longer, “Hur-dur, number go up.” Without those institutional incentives I’m very hopeful that the strong foundation of the Lemmy community can “hug it out” with the few rage baiters that are bringing their bad habits here.