Miles O'Brien

At least my parents church has the decency to give first time visitors a free 6oz cup of coffee.

I decided a long time ago that if I ever walk in and don’t recognize anyone, and someone thinks I’m a visitor who didn’t grow up there, I’m going to start quoting Bible verses about how selling shit inside the church is wrong and I would be channeling the righteous anger of Jesus himself if I flipped all their tables and whipped them.

Unfortunately despite the fact that I have been there twice in 10 years, people still recognize me.

Look, if you didn’t want people watching you, then why run lines in a public place?

And will you not also be center of attention during the performance said lines are for?

I suppose a birthday is aa good a place as any to test your public speaking…

And then you bolt awake, with adrenaline now surging, only to be staring at your wall and it’s 4am so you definitely won’t be feeling rested when your alarm goes off.

Local city is doing fireworks at 10pm.

I’m too old for this shit, just don’t wake me up.

Clearly you’ve never met someone like my wife.

OK, boomer

Quark, you’ve been warned a hundred times about discussing human hunting techniques with menagerie owners.

Don’t make me get Odo.

… “FeEmAlEs”… you ferengi sure know how to raise 'em…

should be impeached

Impeached and then executed for treason.

From a certain point of view.

140 (87mph).

I’m sure there are cars where I wouldn’t feel a thing and all that, but mine would shake itself apart.

120/75 is my limit, and honestly my truck shouldn’t be going over 90/55 because it loses the tiny bit of efficiency it has.

New noises don’t bother me. The amount of things that can shake rattle and roll (it’s a mess but it’s all tools and things I need for work) means a new sound pops up every week.

It’s the new slightly different vibration that sketches me out.

Ever so slightly up/down vibration that you can barely feel when you get to 70? Congrats, next week when you drive to work you’ll hit a bump at 15 and the whole front bottom falls off. And now you have 3 other problems because drive shafts start flying all over and smashing into things when they break.

No, I love vehicle ownership and definitely wouldn’t prefer to relax on high speed rail for 20 minutes with a rolling bag/tool box or literally any other form of mass transit…

Oh completely 100% agreed, and neglect isn’t the only form of child abuse going on but CPS has visited them plenty of times and interviewed all the kids and neighbors (before we moved in) over custody battles with some adopted ones. (they’re all related, long story with too many identifying details but some parents died and all the children are cousins and siblings) so they at least aren’t doing anything that CPS cares about.

But holy shit I have never wanted to curb stomp my sister in law a-la American History X more than when I went over one day and I could hear screaming halfway down the 1/4mi driveway, and when I walked in she was in the 6 year Olds face screaming at the top of her lungs about how she’s tired of telling the 6 year old to put her shoes away, four of the kids were slowly doing chores in the living room and kitchen with tears running down their faces, and I could hear the 13 year old sobbing upstairs. Their mother screamed so hard and long that she burst a blood vessel in her eye and detached the retina. As usual though the moment she saw me she stopped and pretended like she wasn’t doing anything.

Since then I’ve had my phone on record in my pocket whenever I’m coming over unannounced just in case I can catch it. Bare minimum it will be something to show the courts when one of the kids becomes a serial killer.

Their dad is no help, he’s an enabler and honestly a broken shell of a person when it comes to his wife.

Grandparents are worse than parents.

My wife watches them whenever she can, and takes them on surprise day trips to get away from their parents and some of the siblings when possible but holy shit they do not make it easy to take them anywhere.

I don’t regret marrying my wife but I can honestly say my in-laws are insane and anyone could understand why I hate them.

Uhhhhhhh what was the topic again? Sorry for the vent.

In fairness, that’s why I feel like getting a leash.

Plus the oldest is 13 and at least she’s responsible enough for us to look away for a few minutes and she will still be there.

I’ve always felt weird about parents who have those backpack leashes for their kids, but now that I’ve been living next to my in-laws for a year, who have 8 children, I understand some of them.

I refuse to take some their kids anywhere unless one of them is with my wife and I.

One would absolutely go sprinting full speed away and hide from us just because he thinks it’s hilarious.

Two would wander off because they saw something shiny and their brains are like an etch-a-sketches where every time a new thought enters, the old one has to get wiped away.

One would do the exact opposite of anything we say just because he figures he can.

And three others would absolutely just wander off, not because they want to but just because kids aren’t always the best at spatial awareness and simply get too far away. And would be terrified if they noticed their adults were nowhere in sight.

“my car brain cannot fathom how such places can exist, where is the parking, why aren’t there more lanes???”

This is why there are varying carrots in my stew.

Some go in early to get that carrot flavor in the stock, which I like, but that makes them mushy and gross.

So I usually try and get the first carrots out before the potatoes go in, and then it’s kind of a guess on my end when to put more carrots in so they’re nicely cooked but not overdone.

My sense of humor tends to skew towards absurdism the closer to midnight it gets.

Shit posts make me giggle. I show her and she’s just confused.

It really doesn’t help when half the shitposts are star trek related.

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Ohio resident for grade school, they did it at 4 different school districts across every grade.

Can’t speak for anyone else.